July 31, 2008
If Only... (a wish list for busy Moms)
From MOPS -- very funny! (And mostly too true)
If Only…
By Linda Vujnov
Bread crust was moist and delicious.
Clothing had no sizing so you bought what fit.
Hamburger Helper tasted great three days in a row.
Ice cream sandwiches counted as a complete breakfast.
Beds made themselves.
BOZ made house calls.
Oprah aired at 1:00. 3:00, 5:00 and 7:00…in the morning!
Hotels offered free get-away weekends for couples with preschoolers.
Coffee came in one gallon jugs.
The washing machine could carefully separate dark clothes from the whites and complete six loads of laundry in one cycle.
Men could complete 18 holes of golf in thirty minutes.
Varicose veins were in style.
Your best friend lived across the street.
The Emergency room had punch cards. After five visits, the sixth one was free.
Your neighbor had three teenage girls who loved babysitting free of charge.
The plastic vacuum cleaner you daughter loves to play with actually worked.
Your cat could clean the kids too.
Hosing down the inside of your car resulted in no interior damage.
Everyone’s advice truly worked.
Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, musical chairs, cake and punch were a hit for an eleven year old birthday party.
Photos joyfully put themselves in books and wrote catchy captions to ago along with each picture.
Easy Bake ovens could make Tex Mex casserole for six.
Two cars really could fit into a garage along with everything else.
School started at 10:00 a.m.
Cupcakes came with more frosting than cake.
Every backyard came equipped with a rollercoaster, dancing pink unicorns and a water park with a full-time lifeguard.
Date night was more than dinner at the local drive-thru and a gift purchase for your niece’s birthday.
When women said, “I don’t want anything for my birthday” men understood that they really meant, “Surprise me with something creative and personal that I’ll love!”
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