Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Adjustment -- 6 months into homeschooling

The transition from a traditional school to the life style of homeschooling,  isn't just hard for the children as they take time to deschool, learn to love learning again, and become "undamaged."  Some other huge impacts:

1. It 100% changes the relationship between the primary homeschooling parent and the child -- no longer is there another outside "authority" that you can  use as a tool in parenting ("of course there's school today," "you're doing homework because the teacher assigned it"). An outside authority figure takes the heat off the parent and lets the parent be part of the team who either supports the child on one side against the school/teacher/etc. or helps the authority of the parent. Instead, everyone needs to find a new balance.  In theory, this is not a problem because you're already a parent.  But in reality, it's a huge shift and requires really thinking through what is and isn't important across a broad range of areas -- from schedules to academics to finding and balancing social activities.  This is a huge impact for day in and day out and as everyone's norming again, there can be a very, very long period of storming... (Tuckman's stages of team development).

2.  The (typically) mother loses a huge social base -- directly because the new homeschooling parent no longer has the PTA or the school connections, but also indirectly with all the friends who now don't get why they're doing this and whether or not the friends should feel insulted that their friend is rejecting their educational system.  Every single person the homeschooling parent has to connect with now has to connect at an activity or event where they're also trying to build relationships for their children.  It's really hard -- 6 to 10 months after starting is probably the hardest.  (Similar to moving to a new location -- I've always found it hardest 6 months in.)  Homeschooling parents often spend the first few months signing up for everything possible -- to try to build a new social network quickly for everyone. At the same time, the homeschooling parent is trying to figure out her new role in the lifestyle.  6-10 months in, you feel like you've got it but you don't have any comfortable ruts/niches yet.

3.  The family's entry into a new culture can be rocky.  It may seem very straightforward but there are underlying cultural norms that are very hard to figure out sometimes.  Nothing's written.  The only way to figure it out is trial and error and see what goes badly -- or feels bad at the time.  It's a difficult culture to navigate some times with what seems like it should be one way to respond turn into something unexpected...

The adjustment's worth it. But it does take time. And it could be rocky for the parent and the child -- and maybe even for the rest of the family and friends.  It's a normal adjustment period though, and will get better as everyone finds their niche and new life style patterns.

Handwriting Website

A very easy-to-use website for printing handwriting practice sheets -- both regular and d'Nealian...
http://www.handwritingworksheets.com/

You can also download it to your computer and print from there.